hubris: hjuːbrɪs: excessive pride or self confidence
• (in Greek tragedy) excessive pride towards or defiance of the gods, leading to nemesis.

nemesis: ˈnɛmɪsɪs/ the inescapable agent of someone’s or something’s downfall.

We live in a time of hubris. As a society, we have become enamoured with the goal of self actualisation. Apparently, this is the belief that I can realise a point at which I have reached my true potential; that I have become the fulfilment of my talents. The observation of this achievement is announced by the self and paraded on the World Wide Web.

In the same way that Narcissus peered into the pond and became obsessed with his own beauty, we now peer into the screens of our phones and snap artful pictures of ourselves, (in beauty mode, of course!) and post this “accomplishment” to our favourite social media app.

Because we are so busy looking at ourselves, many are failing to notice that our downfall, our nemesis, is actually the annihilation of the very “self” we are putting on display. Now, there’s an irony! The more we have become obsessed with self, the greater has become our loss of it.

What is this sense of self that is being lost? It is the secure knowledge that I am made male or female, that I am created in the image and likeness of God, that earth is a pilgrimage and that my destination is Heaven, that I can marry someone of the opposite sex and possibly, (without the medical interventions of a “brave new world”), bring babies into the world, and that my ultimate goal is to know, love, and serve God whilst on earth. This collective knowledge has been forcibly taken from the public discourse to be replaced by a rocky, capricious, medical world of apparent self actualisation.

Modern, “university” thinking is trying to lead us to believe that we are capable of becoming theopposite sex, that we are made in our own image, that we can marry someone of the same sex and potentially bring a baby of unknown origins into the world, and that whilst on earth we are to serve the self in every way that pleases us. It appears that the more complicated and fantastic the vision of self is, the more it is lauded as progressive, liberating, adventurous and giving the “forks” to the “oppressive” Catholic church.

The problem is that society is not becoming more peaceful, joyful, fruitful or kinder. Human nature cannot be unpicked and restitched with surgery and pills. Ultimately, we are all still the wounded, broken individuals who need infinite amounts of tender love to even approach a steady peace, a secure knowledge of self, a ready understanding of our place in the world.

As Catholic Christians, we are blessed with the knowledge that without Christ, we are as lost as the next person. I spent all of my twenties dashing about the world trying to find myself. I spent hours in front of the mirror arguing with my sticky-out ears, unfashionable nose and swamp coloured eyes. I wasted precious hours believing I was unattractive and unlovable. Like most of humanity, I looked to the world for approval.

As I have grown in faith, I have understood that it is necessary to replace the bathroom mirror with the mirror of Christ. If I want to truly love who I am, I must replace the world with the person of Christ. It is only then that I will be able to see my true reflection and become my true self.

The question then is, do I want to be my true self? Do I want to become the person, the woman,that God truly wants me to be? If the answer is, yes, then I had better immerse myself in Jesus Christ and turn my face from lies and deceit. The lie that we can only have freedom without restraint can be overturned when we willingly embrace the “constraint” of our God-given sex, the “constraint” of our beliefs, our vocation, the “constraint” of our biological capacities. The paradox of these “constraints” is the immense freedom that becomes our reality when we are immersed in them.

As Edna Mode says in The Incredibles,

“You are Eliasti-girl! My God! Pull yourself together! ‘What will you do?’ Is this a question? You will show him that you remember that he’s Mr. Incredible, and you will remind him who YOU are!”

We are called in this diabolical time to remind the world about not only who we are, but who they are too. The Bible is one reminder after another that God’s people have forgotten who they are and who He is. We are no different; there is nothing new under the sun. To remind people… this is dangerous and gutsy work! It is time to revel in being radically different and to embrace afresh the adventurous truth of the followers of Christ. As CS Lewis said,

“When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.”

In Matthew’s gospel we read,

“It is not the healthy who need the doctor, but the sick. Go and learn the meaning of the words, What I want is mercy, not sacrifice. And indeed, I did not come to call the virtuous, but sinners.”

Following Jesus is the, “inconvenient truth”. Following Jesus is gritty and not for the faint hearted. We must be constantly reminding ourselves that we are sinners and we are sick and in need of mercy.

I spent my twenties standing on the very rickety bridge between faith and false “self actualisation”. It was deeply distressing; the nemesis of self doubt was always under the bridge swiping at the feet of my indecision: ”Will I live as the world wants? Or go the unfashionable way of faith?”

Annoyingly, we cannot simply withdraw and turn inward upon ourselves. For we are called to go out to all the world and spread the Good News. We are not called to a beige faith of conformity and comfort. We are called to love the world, for it is beautiful, and to love all whom the Lord sees fit to put in our path; as our wonderful, quirky, imperfect and holy selves.

The saints knew this, and they did not desire to blend in. They willingly stood out. They knew deeply that their very self was absolutely built for a purpose, and they did not let go of it. Sometimes they hung on by a finger nail, sometimes they went years without any consolation, sometimes they got their eyes poked out, heads chopped off, limbs dismembered, burned and hanged. Sometimes they actually died from old age! Each of the saints is so distinguished from all others, so filled with personality, so bursting with themselves, so able to hold to the truth, to delight in it, to defend it, to marvel at it. This is what we are called to!

As Pope Benedict XVI said,

“You are not called to comfort but to greatness”

When I stand in truth, beauty and goodness; when I enact trust and hope and belief, I am more myself than I ever am when I am faffing about in the thunderstorm of doubt. As uncomfortable as it can be standing in God’s path for me, it is never as dire as the times when I try to steer my own ship and sail my own passage rather than the wonderful one marked out for me.

The recent musical movie, The Greatest Showman, features a song, “This Is Me”. We can sing this; because, I am me when I follow the teachings of the Catholic Church. I am me when I live a fully sacramental life and especially when I love confession. I am me when I unearth and practice the particular gifts that I have been given. I am entirely me when I embrace the womanhood and the vocation of marriage I continue to grow into. I am me when I am merciful and love those the Lord has sent me. And, I am Him, when in all my actions, I try to be the signpost pointing the way Home, saying, “Don’t stop, keep going, rejoice! For you are created and you are loved!”

~ Sarah McDonald

Sarah is married to James. They are blessed with four children, whom Sarah has homeschooled for the past eight years. Sarah gained a degree in Education, had a cerebral haemorrhage and returned to study Chinese Medicine and shiatsu therapy. By her account, she wasted her 20s gallivanting around the world before experiencing a conversion in Paris at the 1997 World Youth Day. 

Sarah worked for a time for the Catholic Archdiocese of Melbourne in their Vocations office, and met and married James. An unexpected move to Sydney kicked off a career as a homeschooler. Her particular educational interests are proper grammar and the transmission of a lively Catholic faith. She & James have been members of the Emmanuel Community for 20 years.