Difficult or insensitive comments are almost inevitable when going through loss. Even people who have experienced a similar loss may not understand your personal loss experience and may grieve differently. Your own sensitivity will be intensely heightened as well, so go gently and offer yourself compassion, especially in the most challenging moments.

• Platitudes and statements you may have heard or even used yourself before your loss may trigger strong reactions in you. Remind yourself that while certain questions and comments can sting this is usually unintentional. Most hurtful comments come from a place of feeling helpless and not knowing what else to say.
• Ask yourself, “Who do I want to be in this situation/interaction?”
• A helpful phrase to keep in mind is “What is the most generous assumption I can make about this person right now?”
• Consider and set your own boundaries. Give yourself permission to be flexible with boundaries depending on your capacity at any given time. Try to have some general responses prepared in order to protect your heart and your privacy. If you feel comfortable responding further, these situations can be opportunities to inform, educate and increase other people’s understanding. 
• Having even just one or two others who can support and empathise with you can make the world of difference. Sharing takes courage and is not always met with the understanding we would hope for, but when we do choose to share, hearing our stories can prompt others to confide about their own losses and deeper connections can form through mutual understanding.
• Choose wisely when and where you want to share. Sometimes having places in your life where you keep things private, such as work or certain family or social groups, can give you some breathing space where there is no pressure to have to talk about your loss. 
• Remember, spouses may grieve very differently. Sometimes one or other spouse may struggle to express their grief openly or may struggle to relate to the raw emotions of the other. This is normal. Actively working on communication, seeking understanding, practicing patience, and again, being generous with our assumptions, can better enable you to support each other.
• Above all, know that God sees you. He sees your pain and your suffering. He knows your heart and he knows the hearts of each person you encounter. You are not alone. Your feelings are valid. You are seen even when those close to you don’t know or don’t appear to understand. You are loved.