“There we hope to enjoy for ever
The fullness of Your glory
Through Christ our Lord,
Through whom You bestow on the world all that is good.”Eucharistic Prayer III
I am drawn to goodness.
In my endeavours I unconsciously look for it; in books, ideas, films, friendships. Goodness is that irresistible quality where virtue and holiness are present, motivated by an innate desire to be a blessing to others, rather than for the sake of being virtuous. Goodness doesn’t seek recognition or reward for itself, and being in its presence draws me in and stirs a desire to bask in its beauty, discover more and become part of it.
I think much of the reason goodness is so alluring to me is because of the goodness of my father.
One of my early memories is learning to ride a two-wheel bike for the first time. I remember teetering along while my father ran alongside. Because the experience was new, I remember the sensation of faltering and falling to one side, and of each time, Dad being there to catch me. Though he was middle aged at the time, he was fit, and ran along with arms poised while giving gentle encouragements. As my ability increased, his arms dropped lower and lower, until he was simply running beside me. I recall the moment I realised I had complete control, gained speed and took off on my own. As I broke away from him, I heard him cheer, an unexpected expression of joy at our shared success.
I never thought about it at the time, but pondering it now I realise my trust in him was so complete, I didn’t fear falling at all; I only had to concentrate on balancing.
I trusted him because he was, quite simply, trustworthy.
A man of principle, his actions conformed to his beliefs.
He wouldn’t tell a lie, even that most tempting type, seemingly only small and told for the sake of convenience or to save embarrassment.
Free from the impediment of self-absorption, he routinely put others before himself and went without to provide for his family.
Inconvenience didn’t get in the way of doing what was right, and he paid the price of whatever it cost him to be good.
He had fixed standards by which he judged changing ideas of the day, and the moral courage to overlook the opinions of others if they conflicted what he knew to be right.
He possessed the self-assured peacefulness of someone on a ‘right path’ who set his affairs accordingly, with single-minded conviction.
His character fostered in me a deep respect for him. It didn’t take much for him to reproach me. If I did the wrong thing, all it took for me to feel the pang of shame in myself was for him to look at me with disappointment. Looking at him seemed to highlight the folly of my misbehaviour and it hurt knowing I had fallen short of his expectations and his hope for my ultimate good. This was punishment enough. No words were necessary, and I would stop.
Uprightness seems to have that effect; when we are in its company we judge ourselves. I think this is something like the gift of the Holy Spirit ‘fear of the Lord’, which is the response we naturally have when we offend our Father, who is so loving to us.
What was notable about my father’s the goodness is that it wasn’t arbitrary or come from nowhere. It flowed in large part from a promise he made as a young boy, which would shape the person he would become. One day, he quietly promised Christ he would follow and devote himself to Him.
So began the practice of small daily habits in keeping with the mind of God; turning toward the good, shifting focus from self to others, rejecting impure thoughts, offering small sacrifices, which in time would become larger.
This promise was not based on blind faith but was rational and considered. He understood that we come from God, who is goodness and love itself, so it follows that we ought to love God and love what He loves. To that end he sought his creator through reading and pondering the scriptures, the church fathers, encyclicals and writings of the saints. He devoted time to prayer and sought God’s will when discerning a course of action.
Because as human beings we are integrated body, mind and soul, our actions inform our whole self, so doing good leads to being good. Our habits, performed often enough, become part of us and inform our inclinations in that direction, even in the face of opposing temptation. As the proverb goes, “Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.” Rather than steer his own course, my father allowed God to take hold in his life, and the fruit this bore over time likened him to the One he sought.
James 1:17 tells us goodness is not a quality we can manufacture on our own, “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.” One of the primary purposes of the Holy Spirit coming into a life is to change that life, to make it more like Christ. As the Spirit works, the character changes and the fruits are the beneficial results that come from the Spirit’s indwelling. These fruits reflect the character of God. Where we had harboured rebelliousness, selfishness and spite, we now possess love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Goodness in a person may be a blessing to others but it is certainly a blessing to the giver, for it conforms to what is good for us and what we were designed for. In particular, its inclination to be self-giving runs counter-intuitively toward personal well being. The American philosopher Peter Kreeft says a simple truth took him half a lifetime to appreciate, through many experiments, every one of which proved the same result; “That the way to happiness is self-forgetful love and the way to unhappiness is self-regard, self-worry, and the search for personal happiness. Our happiness comes to us only when we do not seek for it. It comes to us when we seek others’ happiness instead”.
He explains that we constantly try other ways to attain happiness, thinking that perhaps the happiness that didn’t come to us the last time through selfishness will surely do so next time but it never does. How this flies in the face of our ‘After all, you’re worth it’ culture and the prevailing psychological ‘wisdom’ that places self-esteem as a pinnacle goal towards fulfilment.
When I boil it down, my father’s goodness flowed from and toward Christ. In saying I am drawn to goodness, what I am ultimately drawn to is the source of goodness. This desire has been imprinted on each of our hearts, and what we are each drawn to. Goodness, like beauty and truth, are a taste of and foreshadowing of the life to come, which will dazzle us forever, because they are what God is made of, and what He has made us for.
Small glimpses of the nature of God are reminders of who we are and what we are made for. We are destined to be united to God, and thankfully he never stops drawing us to himself. He is the end for which we were created and what will truly satisfy. As CS Lewis put it, “God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing”.
~ Liz Freeman
Liz lives in bayside Melbourne. She is a wife to Mark, a mother to five and a friend to many.